


Five Times Balthazar Jones Hid Behind a Song, and One Time He Didn't

by tinyscienceangels



Category: Lovely Little Losers, Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Inspired by Music, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 14:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4628250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyscienceangels/pseuds/tinyscienceangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title says it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Balthazar Jones Hid Behind a Song, and One Time He Didn't

five times Balthazar Jones hid behind a song, and the one time he didn’t

 

i. an ode to pedro

Balthazar had never written a song for a specific person before, not like this. But when Pedro had nonchalantly mentioned that Beatrice had turned him down thinking his confession had been a joke, Balthazar didn’t know what else to do. Pedro had assured him many times that he was fine, not to worry about him, but Balthazar knew better. He could see it in the way Pedro started carrying himself that he was not fine, that he’d better worry. He started writing the words thinking of what would make Pedro smile, but then it turned into something so different. He thought of the first time he’d started looking at Pedro differently, back in year nine, how he saw him laughing with his head tilted back like he didn’t have a care in the world. How last month, Pedro had told him in secret that he thinks he might like guys too, and how that had flipped Balthazar’s entire world around. How Pedro was possibly the nicest person Balthazar had ever met.   
He didn’t write these things so explicitly, of course, but he hoped that Pedro would appreciate it all the same. He texted Pedro asking if he’d come over to film a song. Balthazar didn’t get an answer until a few hours later, but when he did, Pedro said he was on his way over and was bringing Ursula this time because she was cringing at the bad camera-work of the last video. Balthazar didn’t have a chance to tell him to come alone. It would still be a surprise, but it wouldn’t be the same. Whatever. He wasn’t going to tell Ursula not to come. That would be rude. It wasn’t like he was expecting Pedro to suddenly fall in love with him or anything. 

“You wrote a new song?” Pedro asked, walking into Balthazar’s room with Ursula trailing near behind. Balthazar nodded.   
“Hi Pedro. Ursula. I hear that you were embarrassed by the quality of last video?”  
“I don’t want to talk about that,” she said, and Balth was pretty sure he saw a little bit of a shudder. “Did you want to practice through once, or just record it?”  
“I think I’ve got it down,” Balthazar said.  
“Okay, great,” Pedro said, watching Ursula set up her fancy camera equipment. “Do you think you could maybe teach me about that camera stuff later?” Ursula nodded as she clicked the camera into place on the tripod.   
“Okay, ready,” she said at last, and Pedro remained standing next to her.   
Balthazar started playing. It felt really weird having Pedro standing there staring at him. Last time, he’d manned the camera, so at least there had been a little bit of a barrier, but now there was nothing between them but a little bit of space. Balthazar was laying it all out there, and he was kind of scared to death. He hoped Pedro liked it.   
Balthazar liked the way that Pedro smiled as he listened to the song. Sometimes Balthazar forgot that Pedro had dimples, but now that he was looking right at him with no distractions, he could never forget.   
Balthazar looked up at Pedro when he hit the last note, and Pedro nodded. That had to mean he liked it.   
He’d never dig for compliments, but Pedro’s opinion meant everything to him, so Balthazar put his passivity to good use. “I know I can’t fix anything. I’m sorry,” he said, and Pedro looked at Balthazar like he’d never said anything more ridiculous.   
“Are you kidding me? That was great. I’ve never had a song written about me before.”   
“You liked it, then?”  
“Of course, man.” 

Pedro and Ursula edited and put up the video a few days later, and Balthazar’s stomach dropped at the description. The song's hilarious Balthy! You always know how to make me laugh. Good job hahaha. 

He’d thought it was a joke. He’d thought Balthazar had written him a song as a joke. That was not the reaction Balthazar had wanted. He’d meant every word, and Pedro had laughed. Balthazar sucked it up and didn’t comment, though. At least it made Pedro smile. That had been the point anyway, right? 

 

ii. sigh not so

The second time Balthazar wrote a song for someone, he did it because he was out of options. He was angry, and sad, and disappointed, and he didn’t know anyone could feel that much at once. He was sad for Hero, disappointed at Pedro, angry that any of this had happened. He couldn’t even look at Pedro without remembering the way he’d yelled at Hero’s party, not even for a second considering that the Hero they knew would never do that. She was the human embodiment of an angel—did Claudio and Pedro not remember that?   
It wasn’t fair. Balthazar was hardly even a part of it all, but he was hurting so much. He couldn’t even imagine how Hero was coping. She didn’t deserve any of this. She deserved so much better than this shit situation.   
This time, when Pedro recorded the video, they didn’t say much. There was a lot of tension between the two of them, but Balthazar did appreciate Pedro trying. He was still angry as hell, and Pedro was aware of that, but they put that behind them, if only for a minute, because Hero was way more important than any of this.   
The “men have always been deceivers” line had definitely been for Hero. Sure, it became more when you looked at it in a new context and a new situation, but at the time, he wasn’t thinking about Pedro. He wasn’t thinking about some hypothetical future guy who might let him down. It was about Hero, the real hero of this story. If anyone needed a song right now, something to say that you are strong, and if anyone can put this behind them with grace, it’s you, it was most definitely Hero. 

 

iii. a merry note

It took Balthazar two weeks before he plucked up the nerve to ask Pedro if they could record a song together. It was fucking ridiculous that he was nervous to ask. It was a Christmas song; two friends singing a Christmas song, and nothing more. And anyway, Balthazar was with Damien. Yeah, sure, he still had feelings for Pedro, and since that day Pedro explicitly told Balthazar he liked him before being pulled away by Beatrice, those feelings had definitely resurfaced stronger. But Balthazar was with Damien, and he cared about Damien a lot.   
Damien was safe and comfortable and liked Balthazar just as much as he liked him. There was no weird power-dynamic of uneven pining time, and it was great.  
With this in mind, Balthazar took a few deep breaths to calm himself. He heard Pedro in the kitchen of their flat, so he used the excuse of getting some water to bump into him.   
“Balth!” Pedro said as soon as their eyes met. He had his favorite fishing themed mug—a joke gift Balthazar had given him for his last birthday—filled to the brim with coffee.   
“Hi,” Balthazar said, blushing at the way Pedro brushed up against him as he reached for a glass. Had he always been that awful with personal space? He ran his fingers under the spout, waiting for the stream of liquid to turn from hot to cold. “Uh, Pedro,” Balthazar said after turning off the water. “I was thinking of filming a new song for the channel.”  
“The Christmas one?”  
Balthazar nodded. It didn’t surprise him that Pedro knew about the Christmas song. He’d been working on writing it for the past few days, and song-writing wasn’t exactly a silent activity . “Would you mind recording it with me?” That wasn’t so hard, was it?  
“What else are friends for?” Pedro said. “Let me know when and where, and I’m there.”  
It was then Balthazar realized he probably should have been more clear. “Don’t you think you should learn the song first?”  
Pedro shook his head in confusion. “Huh?”  
Balthazar gripped his glass of water so tight that if he were the least bit stronger, the glass may have shattered. “Sorry, I thought – If you don’t want to sing with me, that’s fine. You’ll still record though, right?”  
Suddenly, Pedro wore the widest grin Balthazar had ever seen. “Hold on.” Balthazar wasn’t sure what Pedro was doing until he dug his phone out of his pocket and shouted into it. “Eh, Ben, you owe me ten dollars! He asked me to sing with him and not you. Goodbye, and enjoy being poor again!”   
“What?” Balthazar asked, still not quite sure what was happening.   
“We’ve heard you practicing this week, and for some reason Ben thought you’d ask him to sing with you for a Christmas video? He was so sure of himself that he bet me ten dollars that you’d ask him first.”   
“So that’s a yes?”  
“This is the greatest day of my life. Ben was so sure he was right that he also bet ten dollars of Beatrice’s money. Man, she’s gonna be pissed at him.” Pedro said, clearly very pleased with himself. “Of course, yes.” 

Pedro and Balthazar spent the remainder of the week practicing the song. Balthazar had been sure that they had it down, harmonies and everything, after two practice sessions, but Pedro kept insisting they needed more afternoons. “The audience has never heard us sing together before. If we’ve made them wait this long, we have to give them one hell of a performance,” Pedro said as they sat together on Balthazar’s bed. Pedro kept smiling, and Balthazar was pretty sure that he was going to drop dead if Pedro smiled at him like that one more time. 

Come performance day, Pedro all but dragged Balthazar outside. Pedro took his time setting up the camera, leaving Balthazar to sit with his guitar in his lap, hoping that he wouldn’t be late to Damien’s Christmas party later that day. Balthazar knew they could do this in one take—they’d definitely practiced enough— but Pedro seemed oddly insistent on making this take as long as possible, so Balth sent Damien a quick text to let him know that he was filming a video with Pedro and would be there as soon as they finished.   
“Ready?” Balthazar asked when Pedro finally seemed content with the camera.   
“Oh, yeah.” He pressed record and ran back to take a seat, perching on the edge of the ledge, unnecessarily close to where Balthazar had settled. Balthazar tried his best to ignore that particular detail, and instead, started playing once Pedro gave him the signal. The singing was great. Balthazar knew that Pedro could sing, and he did wish that they’d sung together sooner. The audience was going to love it .  
However, every time Pedro stopped singing, whether that was for Balthazar’s solos or for the instrumental bits, he smiled at Balthazar, showing off his stupid cute dimples, and he had to be doing that on purpose. It wasn’t fair. He knew Balthazar was with Damien. He knew Balthazar genuinely liked Damien, and he was ruining it all because now Balthazar was not going to be able to stop thinking about those smiles for the rest of the week, probably.   
They ended the video with best wishes for Christmas and the New Year, and Balthazar was prepared to book it out of there with his guitar. Balthazar was already late for Damien’s party. It was only a small get-together with a few friends, which made Balthazar’s presence there even more important.   
“I really have to go now,” Balthazar told Pedro as they both stood up. “Damien has this Christmas party I’m supposed to go to?”   
“Right, of course.” Pedro said. Balthazar hooked his guitar strap back on his shoulder and started to leave “Hey, Balth?”   
Balthazar turned around. “Mmhm?”  
“Thanks for asking me to sing with you. I had a great time. We should do this again.”  
“For the viewers?”  
“Sure, for them too. But also because, well, you’re my best friend, you know? And hanging out with you, just the two of us, is pretty great,” Pedro said. He then stepped suspiciously close and grabbed Balthazar’s free hand. Balthazar couldn’t move. Pedro paused before he pressed his lips to Balthazar’s cheek. “Thanks again. Have fun at your party.”   
Balthazar nodded and walked away, cheeks bright red and heart pounding. This wasn’t fair. No one person should be able to make him feel like that and yet, Pedro did.   
As unfair as it was, he’d made his point, and two weeks later, Balthazar broke it off with Damien again. As great as Damien was, things with him were too safe. They both knew that. They both deserved better than Balthazar using him as a crutch, so they said goodbye. He knew there was potential with Pedro, but nothing had ever seemed definite, so Balthazar really hoped he wasn’t making a big mistake. 

 

iv. a new beginning

Things were very good for Balthazar. It was weird being this happy since it had been awhile since he’d been this happy. Sure, university was a little stressful, but he lived in a flat with his best friends, he’d made some very awesome new friends, and things were really great.   
Then there was Peter. This year, Pedro had decided to change his name to Peter. Okay, technically Peter was his real name, but he’d just always been Pedro before, and though it was a weird adjustment, Balthazar understood his reasoning. Peter wanted to escape the drama from last year. University was something new. He could embrace the newness of life, the newness of his bisexuality. He wouldn’t make the same mistakes that Pedro made, the mistakes that he was still apologizing for even though Hero had said time and time again that she’d forgiven him. Peter is new, and Peter will be better, he said.   
It wasn’t just that either. Balthazar had broken up with Damien a couple weeks into the new year and at first he wondered if he’d made the right decision. But since then, everything with him and Peter had just seemed so easy, which made Balth feel kind of awful about the Damien thing. Like, he felt better after a breakup? What kind of crap was that? Sure, Damien had known what he was getting into since he knew the history between Balthazar and Peter, how there was a lot of build-up but nothing ever happened, but it didn’t make Balthazar feel any better about being happy. What a weird place he was in; he felt bad about being happy.   
Aside from the guilt, though, things were good. After all those years of pining and tension and wondering if anything would ever happen, the future of Balthazar and Peter looked hopeful. Peter had started inviting Balthazar out for drinks together – just the two of them – and as much as Balthazar didn’t feel the need to go out all the time, he agreed to have fun on the weekends. After a couple drinks each, Balthazar never hesitated to let Peter drag him to the middle of the floor and dance together with people watching them and everything. Usually he didn’t like the attention –unless he was playing music, of course – but he was with Peter and they were both smiling like the other was the brightest star in the world, and he couldn’t find it in himself to care as long as Peter kept looking at him like that.   
Balthazar almost kissed him last time. They’d gone to a club on a Friday night that Peter didn’t have to work. Balth had never been to The Globe before, but Peter said that he’d been before with Ben since Balthazar had had a paper due and couldn’t come, and he could pull a few strings since Ben had a class with the DJ. At first, Balthazar wasn’t sure what Peter meant by “I can pull a few strings for you. You’ll like it, I promise”, but after Peter had whispered something to the DJ, after a particularly shitty song – what was that, dubstep for the chronically tone-deaf? – his favorite Fife and the Drums song came on.   
It shouldn’t have been a huge deal, but then Peter said, “this is one of your favorites, isn’t it?” and Balthazar nodded enthusiastically, the perfect catalyst for Peter to grab his hands and sway excitedly to the music, twirling each other around, always sure they never stopped touching.   
They walked home holding hands that night, and Balthazar probably would have actually kissed Peter if Peter hadn’t been laughing so much about the shitty music and the even more appalling people who were un-ironically singing along to some of that shitty music, which, in turn, made Balthazar double over, laughing until they both had tears escaping their eyes. It was also in that moment that Balthazar realized that more than anything, he was excited for more adventures with Peter Donaldson, because Balthazar was most definitely falling even deeper in love with every laugh.   
Of course, Balthazar didn’t have the nerve to tell Peter that he wanted this to continue forever and ever, but he could sing it. Balthazar wasn’t so great at the confession thing, but he was great at writing songs. He’d always used songs to get his point across, and Peter had to have caught on by now. And this time, he wasn’t even a little bit subtle.   
If Peter didn’t recognize that Balthazar was trying to say, “I really want to make out with your face,” when he wrote “this could be a new beginning for you and me”, then they both had some work to do.   
Either way, finally Peter and Balthazar were on the same page, finally they both were in a place where they wanted the same thing, and they had nothing but time. All that was left to do was let love happen. 

 

v. running mad

 

The last time Balth had written a song, everything had been more perfect than he had ever imagined. Perhaps things had been too good though, because soon it was all snatched away from him without a warning.  
Balthazar was a little sick of everything now. He understood that Peter was in this place where he was exploring his newfound sexuality, and that was perfectly fine. Healthy, even. It was the fact that he had to constantly see (and hear) it every time Peter came home. It had started up around March, and it just hadn’t stopped. Balthazar didn’t blame him or anything, because Peter could do what he wanted, and if it made him happy, even better, but it kind of sucked that this guy that he’d been half in love with since the beginning of high school consistently came home to hook up with someone else.   
He was pretty sure if the Peter thing was the only thing going on, Balthazar might be okay. But so much was happening from being in this new environment to Ben’s crazy filming to feeling so left out now that life had changed so much with half his friends back in Auckland and the other ones too busy to recognize that Balthazar actually wasn’t doing as well as he’d originally thought.   
He knew that going out more often could be good for him, but that was hard on him too. Usually he’d stick with Peter, but the more drinks that Peter had, the less Balthazar wanted to be with him, and after a few nights out together, Balthazar couldn’t take it anymore. Peter could hold other boys’ hands and kiss other people all he wanted. Balthazar just didn’t want to see it.   
He didn’t even know what had happened. Only months ago, things with Peter and him had been amazing. They’d been dancing and almost kissing and loving each other’s company, but without warning, everything changed. Peter started drinking more when they went out, and he got more annoyed with Ben --though to be fair, that was the case with the entire flat – , and it was like all that Balth and Peter time hadn’t meant as much to Peter as it had meant to Balthazar, and it hurt like hell.   
So he wrote another song. Writing it felt good. It was the first time in a long time that he’d had so much negative energy flowing through him, and just getting it out there was the most therapeutic thing he’d done in ages. Then he’d recorded it, and that was a little less enjoyable. That was the first time he hadn’t had Peter there to record a song for him, or with him. Every time he looked up near the camera, he half expected Peter to be standing there with a smile made just for Balth, but when Balthazar looked, all that was there was empty space. After watching it back, Balthazar hated the way he almost started crying on camera every time he looked up to see no Peter cheering him on, so he had to re-record it and avoid looking anywhere near the lens.   
He didn’t post it right away. Just writing it and recording it had been enough to release everything he was feeling at least a little bit. After a few weeks though, all that negativity and self-doubt he’d been repressing came flying back. He didn’t know if posting it on the channel was supposed to be a cry for help or what, but he just hoped that maybe the world would have a little pity on him and he’d magically feel okay again, if only for a little while.   
His wish wasn’t granted exactly as he’d planned. About twenty minutes after the video went live, Paige, his first and best university friend, the one who he’d befriended at open mic night after someone saw them in accidental matching Mumford & Sons shirts and said that it was a match made in heaven, called him, beginning the phone conversation with, “Balth, what the fuck was that video?”   
“Huh?” He wasn’t quite awake enough to appreciate that she was speaking very loudly into his ear.   
“The song you just put up on the channel?”  
“You watch Ben’s vlog channel?”  
“Sometimes. But that’s not the point. Chels saw it on my Youtube subscription thing and so we watched it obviously and god, Balth, if the flat is making you feel like that again, you need to tell someone. We’ve talked about this. You should have told me. Mumford Bros for life, remember?  
“Sorry,” Balthazar said.   
“Are you busy?” she asked suddenly.  
“Well, I was sleeping until you screamed in my ear.”  
“Chels and I are coming over then. She’s done with work at noon, so we’re going to come over, and we can make some really good vegan cupcakes, okay? Say yes because we’re not giving you an option.”  
“Sure,” Balthazar said. “Thanks, Paige. See you later.”   
Balthazar tossed his phone on the edge of his bed and leaned back against his pillow. Putting up the video hadn’t made him feel any better, but thank god for Paige.   
Just as she promised, at 12:30, Paige knocked and walked in with Chelsey and a piping hot to-go cup full of tea, which she handed to Balthazar, who hadn’t changed out of his lounge pants.   
“Are your flatmates home?” she asked, and Balthazar shook his head.   
“No. Peter’s where the hell even knows where, and Ben and Freddie are out to lunch together before going to different study groups.”  
“Good. Because we need to talk and I know you’ll cooperate much better without other people around.”  
“No, I’m fine,” Balthazar said. He knew he was lying right through his teeth, but he didn’t need her worrying about him. He’d get over it eventually and then they could all move on.   
Paige looked at him with concern, and Balthazar had a bad feeling about this. “Chelsey, you know the recipe, right?” she asked, and Chelsey nodded as she tossed her purse on the table. “You wouldn’t mind getting the ingredients ready, would you, babe? Balth and I are going to his room for just a minute to look for a frosting recipe.”  
“Yeah, sure,” Chelsey said.   
Balthazar recognized very quickly that Paige had no intentions of looking for a frosting recipe because one, there was no need to do that in his room, and two, as soon as they got to his room, she sat down on his unmade bed and suggested that he do the same. He set down his tea next to the empty mugs on his windowsill.  
“Now tell me what’s going on.”  
“Nothing. I wrote that song like a month ago. You know that.”  
“Yes, and you told me that you didn’t want to post it because people would start worrying about you. But you did put it up, so something’s obviously changed.”   
Balthazar shrugged. He appreciated her concern, but he didn’t know why she bothered. She couldn’t fix anything.   
“You don’t want to talk about it. That’s fine. But just remember that you have me, okay?” Paige said, and she hugged him tightly. Balthazar didn’t know what it was in that action that made him snap, but all of a sudden he was clinging onto her, and before he had a chance to stop them, the tears began streaming.   
“I just love him so much, Paige.”  
“Oh, I know,” she said soothingly, rubbing his back as he cried. “I know you do.”  
“Sometimes we have moments and I think that maybe something will happen, but it never does. I want so badly to be so mad at him that these feelings go away, but they never do. I hate it.”  
“I know, I know.”   
He didn’t get it. Once Paige got him opening up, it was so easy to talk to her. And now all these things were spilling out, and he didn’t get it. Why could he talk to her so easily, but every time he even thought of saying something to Peter, he decided it was a bad enough idea that he never considered it again?   
After a few minutes, Balthazar stopped crying and wiped his eyes, embarrassed. “I’m so sorry.”   
Paige hugged him again. “No. That’s what friends are for.” She stood up, and offered Balthazar her hand. “Chelsey should be done getting the ingredients by now. You good?”  
He wasn’t, but he was at least good enough to go to the kitchen and distract himself by creating and then devouring an entire batch of vegan cupcakes with his friends. Once again, thank god for Paige. 

i. (the one time he didn’t)

 

Balthazar hadn’t meant to break a rule. He just really liked hummus, okay? Paige had been over, and she just had this great presence because the two of them just got each other, and he’d temporarily forgotten that he wasn’t allowed to sit in his room while she taught him a song she was writing while simultaneously snacking on oatcakes and hummus. That’s what they usually did when she was over. They messed around with instruments and snacked on hummus. They weren’t used to a different ritual.   
Not to say Balthazar wouldn’t ever eat hummus again, but he might have to take a break, because last week had been torture. Ben’s hummus wasn’t horrible – hummus was pretty difficult to get wrong – but eating it with every meal, in foods non-compatible with hummus, was not something he wanted to go through again. Maybe he’d wait until he went home for Christmas, and maybe by then, the taste of hummus ice-cream would be cleared from his mind forever.   
Balthazar would be happy if he never had to hear the words Ben’s Hummus ever again, actually, but it turned out that the world hated him. Explanation: it was Peter’s turn to clean out the fridge of expired food or empty containers, and Balthazar was called to the kitchen. He set down his red ukulele, which he’d been mindlessly strumming for the past few minutes, and went in to see what Peter wanted.   
Balthazar groaned the second he saw what Peter was holding. “I’m almost done cleaning out the fridge, but we still have some of Ben’s hummus left. Just want to make sure you don’t want some before I get rid of it,” Peter said, and he was smiling.   
“Ha ha. Hilarious.”   
“I really think you should finish it off,” Peter said, laughing now. “I mean, you love hummus so much that you were willing to break a rule for it? That’s true love.”  
“Fuck off,” Balthazar said. “Never again.”   
“I am amused though,” Peter said, tossing the almost empty pot of hummus in the trash. “Who would have thought you would be the first to break a rule?”  
“Why’s that funny?” Balthazar said. “I can do bad things.”  
“Like I said. So funny,” Peter said, smiling again. “You are perfect. Tell me one bad thing you did that didn’t involve going over budget because of novelty food.”  
Balthazar squirmed. He knew the answer, but he didn’t want to say it. So he shrugged.   
“Come on, it cannot be worse than what I’ve done.”  
Balthazar shrugged again. “You know, I actually need to get back to…“ he said, pointing at his ukulele. He started walking away, but Peter followed him.  
“No. Now I’m intrigued,” Peter said. “What did you do?”  
“Nothing,” Balthazar said. This conversation wasn’t fun anymore. “I’ll tell you sometime.”  
Peter narrowed his eyebrows. “You know what? No. No more of this passive aggressive I’ll write a super vague song about it so you’ll have to figure it out on your own bullshit. You owe me this.”  
“I owe you?” Balthazar asked, getting angry.   
“Yeah. You’ve written all these songs this year, all these things that you’re feeling that I had to find out because someone uploaded them on the internet, all because you don’t tell me anything.”  
Because Peter was hounding him, and he was feeling brave and irritated, and because he felt like yelling to see how Peter liked it, Balthazar gave up. “Okay, fine. You want to know what bad thing I did? I broke up with Damien, again, for you. Happy now?”  
Peter’s narrowed eyebrows relaxed into something that looked like confusion. “You—“  
“I fucked up a perfectly good relationship because I thought that maybe something would happen. Obviously I was very wrong, so if you would be so kind and go on your merry little way, I have –“  
That was when Peter kissed him. Balthazar instinctively kissed him back, but pulled back about two seconds later to mumble, “that’s against the rules.”  
“Fuck the rules,” Peter said, grabbing Balth’s shirtsleeve. “It’s too late already anyway. The crime is done.” Balthazar was conflicted. If they followed through with this, there was no turning back, but also, he really wanted this. He and Peter still had a lot of shit to talk through, but god, yes, he still wanted this.   
Balthazar’s sleeve was still between Peter’s fingers, and Peter seemed frozen in place, waiting for Balthazar to do something. Balthazar didn’t know if he was making the right choice, but the longer they waited, the more likely it was that nothing was ever going to get done. “Fuck the rules,” Balthazar echoed softly, and pressed his lips against Peter’s.   
Something exploded inside him when he finally let himself kiss Peter, and especially when he noticed that Peter was kissing him back with just as much fervor. Peter’s hands were on Balthazar’s waist while Balthazar pressed his hands hard against Peter’s back. After one particularly rough squeeze, Balthazar stumbled, falling against the couch, but Peter let it happen and fell right with him. As Peter kissed up his neck, Balthazar used a hand to get the ukulele out of the way, and then suddenly had a horrifying thought.   
“Ben probably has a hidden camera in here. This is being filmed, isn’t it,” he said quickly. “I mean, I know we’re already in trouble, but we should turn it off, right?”  
“Who cares,” Peter said, pressing his body closer to Balthazar’s. “We’re already gonna have a punishment. Make Ben watch through this footage. He’s gonna hate it.”   
He did have a point. If Ben was the one so adamant about enforcing the “no shenanigans” rule on everyone, the least they could do was make it more difficult for him.   
“Okay,” Balthazar said, pressing his lips against Peter’s again, more than ready to make out until neither one of them could breathe. “Fuck the rules.”  
“Fuck the rules.” 

 

***

Epilogue

“I know we said “fuck the rules”, but seriously. Fuck these rules.” Peter said, groaning. Ben had watched the footage yesterday, and after a lot of complaining – “First off: seriously, guys? In the middle of the living room with perfect knowledge that you were being filmed? Have you no decency? Also: have you learned nothing from the hummus incident?”, he and Freddie had inflicted them both with a punishment to fit the crime.   
Long story short: Ben was apparently a big fan of the overexposure strategy, so he thought that a good punishment for kissing each other was to force both of them to watch the worst romance movies of all time. Ben and Freddie had brainstormed a list of the top twenty worst romance movies in history, surveyed people around campus, and then came up with an even better list of the ten worst romance movies in existence. They were now making Peter and Balthazar, silently, on opposite ends of the couch, watch them with no distractions. No phones, no books, no sleeping, and no talking allowed. Peter and Balthazar were on their second movie of the day. They had eight more to get through this week, and Balthazar wasn’t sure if they would survive that long. They were seriously that bad.   
“Shut up Peter,” Ben said from the kitchen table, where he had one headphone in his ear as he did something that was almost definitely less horrible then this. “Watch your horrible movie.”   
Balthazar glanced at Peter, who kept his eyes on the screen with a disgusted look on his face. He whispered this time, hopefully too quietly for Ben to hear. “Sorry, Balth. I still like kissing though.”  
He didn’t vocally acknowledge Peter’s compliment, but Balthazar turned his head away with a small grin and a slight blush. If they were going to go like this –death by movie induced boredom -- making out with his sort-of-boyfriend first was a crime worth committing, right? He glanced back over at Peter, who looked at him with those eyes that made Balthazar willing to watch 100 of these horrible movies if it meant Peter would keep looking at him like that. Yeah, it had been worth it.


End file.
